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I Hate Agile!

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OK…before you start the hate mail…maybe hate is too strong a word.  Actually it is not the Agile (or Scrum, or XP) process that I hate, but the Agile practiotioners are really starting to get to me. 

I just finished reading about how one practitioner (I’m not going to name anyone specific….you know who you are) is upset that some newly converted groups tend to fall off the Agile wagon, back into old habits.  He chose of course to publically ridicule them as a group (thankfully, no specific names).  As with most of these “born-again” Agile cultists, if you don’t strictly adhear to their rules you are no longer worthy of their support, and are subject to public condemnation.  Agile has become a religious cult and the practitioners have become like early American religious fanatics (the ones kicked out of England for their fanatic beliefs).  “Believe as we do or we shall excommunicate you from the flock!”   Well then point me to the pillory – I confess – I’m a non-believer!

I wish there were one single, out-of-the-box development process that would work universally for everyone.  There isn’t!  There never will be!  Personally, I like to follow what I call the “Gumbo” process.  A little bit of this, a little bit of that, add what works, subtract what doesn’t – heat and stir and Voila! – Software (or as Eddie Izzard would say: “Hootcha, hootcha, hootcha….software). 

Don’t get me wrong – Agile has some really good ideas, but so does Iterative, RUP, and believe it or not – Waterfall!  That’s right – I said Waterfall – rack me!  Hand me my scarlett letter – I will wear it proudly!

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3 Comments

  1. You’re so old school. 😉 Actually, Fusion is an interesting methodology that seems to have the flexibility of mixing the best of Agile/Waterfall, depending on the project. Were you at the SQuAD meeting where it was presented by Jamie Tischart in October?

  2. ripahoratiu says:

    I’m also tired of the Agile silver bullet, as you can see in my critic answer, not necessary in the best english 🙂 at http://ronua.ro/CS/forums/p/6798/214950.aspx#214950

    Well we should make a movement and a manifesto :)) to stop the Agile religion, and put an end to the self sufficience of the Agile perfection, force the edge in order to gain some new ideas, maybe.

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